What's New
Friday, April 16, 2004
SPACED OUT
Who can think the human race
Should ever venture into space,
Shattering that pristine silence
With our noisome waste and love of violence?
Rick Lyttle 4/16/04
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Who can think the human race
Should ever venture into space,
Shattering that pristine silence
With our noisome waste and love of violence?
Rick Lyttle 4/16/04
SCROLL DOWN
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
TRASH TALK
The ornately engraved, Singapore five dollar bill is loaded with images. One side, printed in green, has a floral emblem above "SINGAPORE" in capital letters. There is a fish, a stone lion's head, and a landscape of the PSA Container Terminal.
The other side, printed in green, magenta and orange has two Chinese junks, what appears to be a map, perhaps of a harbor, and the fish again. $5 is printed all over the place, and in case there's any doubt, the announcement that "This note is legal tender" appears above the signature of Hu Tea Tau, minister of finance.
There's none of this in God we trust business. Evidently the people of Singapore have the good taste to keep theology out of the counting house. Just the same, the clutter of symbols does reinforce the concept of the mysterious East.
The biggest mystery, however, has nothing to do with symbolism. The biggest mystery is what was a Singapore five dollar bill doing beside the northbound lane of Sir Francis Drake Boulevard between Inverness Park and Inverness? This demands some serious speculation, right?
Meanwhile, let's take golf balls. What are they doing alongside the same boulevard, both on the west side of Tocaloma Hill and north of Inverness Park?
And then there is the small, rather pathetic figure of the bride in here white dress with her bright bouquet lying among the drift of litter on the eastbound lane on Tocaloma hill. Oh perfidious man!
She once stood triumphant on the top of a wedding cake. How low she has fallen! And where is he?
It's not a case of can this marriage be saved, but rather should this marriage be saved? Obviously, the honeymoon is over. In this case, there's really not much room for speculation.
Well, I hope you realize by now, from all this trash talk, that we are onto a new art form. Speculation Art, practiced by those of us who pick up litter, will sweep the country. Soon everyone will want to take part, and roads and highways from coast to coast will at last be litter free. Remember you read it here first.
How does it work? Take the Singapore five dollar bill. The couple is driving toward Inverness, and she, while sorting through her purse, says: "George, are we ever going back to Singapore?" "No way," says George, who didn't even want to come to Inverness, and out the car window goes the five dollars, enigmatic symbols and all.
The golf balls? Well, most of them are orange which means they are practice balls. We can speculate that youngsters are sneaking onto the practice ranges at neighboring links for a late night harvest. Perhaps they fill a shopping bag or two. Then they use the balls to take potshots at road signs as they travel our country roads. Can you think of a better theory?
You can also speculate about mundane trash. For instance, there was a full pack of Camels discarded not far from Inverness. It had been opened, but not one cigarette had been removed? Trying to give the filthy habit up are we?
Now take beer containers. Between Inverness and Inverness Park and on Bear Valley Road, the discard of choice, far ahead of all others, is imported Corona in bottles, suggesting refined tastes indeed. On Tocaloma Hill, it's Bud in cans, the couch potato's swill.
Can't you just hear the driver as he crests the hill and begins the decent toward Olema. "OK, children, we're coming to a special place. Get rid of the Bud." And the clatter of empty cans echoes through the night.
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TEST YOUR APHORISM
C. C. Finch of Chicago writes again to offer: "Remember a compliment but don't always believe it."
"This is something that was often said in my family when I was growing up, but I don't know the source. Maybe your readers -- perhaps Michael Howard Manning himself -- can help."
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C. C. Finch of Chicago writes again to offer: "Remember a compliment but don't always believe it."
"This is something that was often said in my family when I was growing up, but I don't know the source. Maybe your readers -- perhaps Michael Howard Manning himself -- can help."
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Tuesday, April 13, 2004
TALKING TOMMY
Garrulous is too tame a word.
Tommy's talking was absurd.
Other speakers went unheaded.
No one talked as loud as he did.
Socially a great disaster,
No one cleared a room much faster,
And if you had words you wished to say,
You'd be the first to rush away.
We called him "Talking Tommy" or "The Talking Head,"
And I can't recall a word he said.
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Garrulous is too tame a word.
Tommy's talking was absurd.
Other speakers went unheaded.
No one talked as loud as he did.
Socially a great disaster,
No one cleared a room much faster,
And if you had words you wished to say,
You'd be the first to rush away.
We called him "Talking Tommy" or "The Talking Head,"
And I can't recall a word he said.
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Sunday, April 11, 2004
